


i'll be outside when the sky falls down

by myouwos



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, Fluff Mostly?, Iron Man AU, and light angst because minayeon, because i couldn't stop thinking about nayeon as iron man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:47:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24738715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myouwos/pseuds/myouwos
Summary: "nayeon swears not to get hurt again. it's not the first time, nor the last one, and mina is not blinded by her wish to believe her.it's an empty promise and they both know it, but no one comments on it. instead, mina lets nayeon cup her cheek and bring her in a soft apologizing kiss: one that is meant to express how sorry she is for putting her through this today, and for the pain that is to come.mina lets nayeon lie because she trusts her to always come back alive. it's foolish, and it doesn't keep her from worrying, but it's all she can do. all she can do not to run away."ora minayeon iron man au, in which nayeon keeps getting hurt and mina is trying to cope with it- by scolding her, mostly.
Relationships: Im Nayeon/Myoui Mina, Park Jisoo | Jihyo/Yoo Jeongyeon
Comments: 19
Kudos: 267





	i'll be outside when the sky falls down

**Author's Note:**

> for kai and nico's birthdays<3
> 
> and because i couldn't stop thinking about nayeon as iron man and mina as pepper potts. :)
> 
> hope you'll like it, enjoy!

mina has never believed herself to have made a single mistake when it comes to her relationship with nayeon. that is, other than accepting to date her in the first place.

  
  


it's not a serious idea, no, she would never imagine her current self being as delighted and whole if it weren't for the eccentric woman who entered her life rather unexpectedly, but who it seems, left an indelible mark in her heart she will never truly be able to get rid of. nayeon is far from being all she has, but she comes above all of the rest. nayeon is what matters, she's what keeps her going on monday mornings and what allows her to let go when she feels like jumping off the roof of the city's highest tower. 

  
  


and despite regret not being a feeling she's familiar with, mina sometimes finds herself having doubts. not about what she feels, or about what she wants, but about all of this being worth the pain and the fear of losing her. her dreams, before she and nayeon first got together- they broke up a few times, nothing too serious or at least nothing that a bouquet of blooming flowers and an apologetic gaze could not fix- used to be about what it would mean, to fall for a superhero. she wondered if it felt anything like what movies try to make it seem, wondered if she'd feel like she was standing on top of the world, hand in hand with its savior. 

  
  


today, her dreams have a different taste. her mind brings her to alternative realities in which there's no suit, no iron man, and no need for the world to be saved again and again. in those universes, they're happy, and although a simple life is not what she believes she would ever want, the picture of a house far away from the city and its dangers looming over their head like dark clouds of thunder is one that appears in her dreams far too often. mina wonders if she wouldn't be happier if she did not have to worry about losing nayeon, and the answer is obviously yes. 

  
  


but if she would be happier in another reality, while knowing that nayeon would not get to do what she's always said she was born to embrace, that's a very different question. 

one she chooses not to dwell on too much, for the sole reason that the answer is not one she wishes to hear. because with time, mina understood one important detail about love. it's not about two singular souls endlessly gravitating around each other, but about them molding as one, inseparable, codependent in the best sense of the term. happiness is a feeling they have to share for it to truly exist.

  
  


mina would never seriously consider this as a mistake, but after having had to watch her girlfriend arrive home after a mission with bruises that only seem to grow, and having tasted blood on her lips, she can not help but wonder if someday, nayeon will simply not come back home. 

  
  


it leaves an unfamiliar emptiness to spread in her chest, and the more she thinks about it, the worse it becomes. and yet, she refuses to bring it up to nayeon, because no matter how much she loves her girlfriend, she knows that nothing reassuring will come out of her mouth. 

  
  


(she avoids mentioning her potential death ever since nayeon organized a "preventive burial party" the last time she did. she said it had her wondering about who was really attached to her, while being the occasion to have well-deserved glasses of champagne. definitely not something she wants to experience again, especially not the part when nayeon made a goodbye speech to the crowd, joking about how unfortunate it was that she hadn't had time to propose to mina before dying.) 

  
  


and when her phone vibrates on top of her desk, her heart always misses a beat as her eyes travel from the files she was going through to the object that could deliver the last blown. perhaps is it a sixth sense, but when she picks it up, a message from jarvis is indeed waiting for her, warning her about her girlfriend being in the hospital wing of im tower for a minor injury. 

  
  


"what did she do this time?" mina groans, burying her face in her hands as she tries to calm her racing heart down before she has to confront nayeon about this. it's the third time this week she's gotten hurt, and it's only tuesday, which does explain why the ceo is almost ready to throw her phone to the other side of her office and forget about all of this. but right when she starts to wonder if it wouldn't be good for her to ignore jarvis and finish what she had been working on- especially since it mostly consisted of fixing nayeon's mistakes which had involved making a typo in a check she'd made to her lawyer- the artificial intelligence sends her another text.

  
  


_ 'miss im says she can not heal unless you are by her side. the nurse has threatened her on six occasions already because she refuses to take the required injection without you there to make sure it is not poison _ .' 

  
  


and when mina groans this time, it isn't from exasperation but from anger. despite her current wish not to care about it being deadly poison or not, she closes her laptop and walks toward the elevator, telling herself she's doing it to comfort her girlfriend. but in reality, there's a part of selfishness in the action. because no matter how angry she is, the need to make sure nayeon is alright will always overlap, and the longer she stays away from her, the harder it becomes for her to stand the distance. 

  
  


when the elevator brings her to the seventh floor, the medical research wing of the tower busy in the middle of the day, she does not need to search for her girlfriend for long when whines she very easily recognizes as hers reach her ears. everyone pauses in their task to stare at her in pity, apologetic smiles replacing the usual warm ones everyone reserves for her, and she simply sighs, because that's truly never a good sign. 

  
  


"what's going on here?" mina asks as soon as she arrives in front of the room nayeon is being taken care of in, two nurses trying to restrain her as a third one brings a needle to her arm- trying here being the keyword because nayeon is definitely not making it easy for them. "let her go, she's not a wild animal from what i know." 

  
  


"see, i told you she would come!" nayeon manages to free her arms when the two nurses quite literally quiver in fear, and that's when mina realizes her tone might have been a bit too harsh. "and considering my girlfriend is a know-it-all, she's surely right. quit treating me like one." 

  
  


"oh, shut up, you're on thin ice right now." and all mina needs to do to get nayeon to obey is to point a threatening finger at her, the lack of a smile on her lips forcing a pout to appear on her girlfriend's lips as she lays back on the bed. her eyes take in the injuries jarvis told her about, and other than a torn shirt and a small cut on her cheek, she isn't able to see anything that might require an injection. not that she's a doctor, but nayeon wasn't exactly far from the truth by mentioning her pretty big amount of knowledge. "what happened to her?" 

  
  


"first of all, none of this was supposed to-" 

  
  


"was i speaking to you?" mina cuts her off, walking closer to the bed and replacing one of the nurses. her hand naturally reaches for hers, and her actions speak different words than her clear anger. "so, who is to blame for this?" 

  
  


"actually, miss myoui, she's the one to blame." one of the nurses speaks, her voice trembling a bit although she knows that mina is very rarely harsh, especially not to her employees- nayeon is another story. "from what miss yoo told us, they were both studying an alien substance and miss im here… well, she left it unattended to order pizza. then, it exploded." 

  
  


"what?" nayeon says when mina slowly turns to face her, any tenderness gone from her eyes. "it was pepperoni pizza. i was hungry." 

  
  


"you're sleeping on the couch tonight, and we'll talk about this more in detail later. but for now, you're gonna stay still and let the nurses do their jobs." motioning for the woman holding the syringe to go on, she winces when nayeon's hold on her hand tightens as the needle gets closer and closer to her arm. she's pouting during the whole process, excessively whining when the needle pierces her skin and long minutes after it's gone, only stopping when mina flicks her forehead. 

  
  


"the injection was to prevent whatever substance that was released into the air with the explosion to attack her immune system. she should be good to go for now, but only if you intend on keeping an eye on her." the two nurses walk out of the room, breathing a sigh of relief, and the one that's left smiles painfully. "i know that might not be what you planned your afternoon to be like, but that's my medical advice for the time being."

  
  


"oh, don't worry about me. i sometimes wonder if she doesn't mistake me for her babysitter. it won't change much from our daily life." 

  
  


and when it finally only is the two of them left in the room, mina can not help but bring her lips to her forehead, placing a soft kiss over the now red area. nayeon looks guilty as her hold loosens, allowing her hand some short-lived relief, and she's once again sure that none of this was a mistake. because the fear might become grueling with time, but it's nothing compared to the heart-warming euphoria nayeon brings to her.

  
  


"i'm sorry." 

  
  


"don't apologize. all i'm asking is for you to be careful." 

  
  


"and i will be. from now on, i'll make an effort."

  
  


it's an empty promise and they both know it, but no one comments on it. instead, mina lets nayeon cup her cheek and bring her in a soft apologizing kiss: one that is meant to express how sorry she is for putting her through this today, and for the pain that is to come.

  
  


mina lets nayeon lie because she trusts her to always come back alive. it's foolish, and it doesn't keep her from worrying, but it's all she can do. all she can do not to run away. 

  
  


"i suppose you'll want that pizza?" 

  
  


"you truly are a woman after my own heart."

  
  


mina chuckles, placing a hand over nayeon's on her cheek. "i thought your heart was already mine after all this time."

  
  


and she doesn't need an answer to know that she's right. 

  
  


not when nayeon has flown along with the stars and seen the many wonders of this universe, but always came back to her. not when the honesty shining in her eyes holds more value than words ever could.

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


"do you want to get married?" 

  
  


silence follows nayeon's words, only interrupted by the occasional sounds of her chewing on a piece of bacon she stole from mina's burger. she seems unfazed, as if she didn't just drop a bomb on mina, and she only looks up from her own plate of fries to steal more from her girlfriend, who it seems is not functioning properly right now. 

  
  


"excuse me?"

  
  


"i mean, in general." nayeon details, and mina breathes a sigh of relief, standing up from her seat at the kitchen islands to serve herself a glass of water. she momentarily considered getting wine instead, because she's pretty sure she'll need it to stand nayeon in the mood she currently is in. taking a few gulps to calm her nerves down, she only decides to turn around to face nayeon's confused stare when she knows she'll be able to breathe properly. "are you someone that wants kids and marriage and all this?"

  
  


"are you proposing to me right now?"

  
  


mina sets the glass back down on the kitchen counter, and nayeon turns her chair to face her, burger in hands as she contemplates which side to start with. that seems to catch her attention and she stops chewing, realizing she might have made a mistake- it's not a realization that often strikes her, but when her girlfriend gets in her ceo stance and folds her arms in that business-like way, it usually is enough for her to understand. 

  
  


"hmm, i suppose that depends on what your answer will be." 

  
  


"i can't- nayeon, marriage is not something to mention offhandedly during dinner. do you even have a notion of romance?" 

  
  


"don't you like burgers? that seems pretty romantic to me, you and i, enjoying a meal and getting married. yeah, peak romance right there." nayeon looks pensive for a second, before nodding, sucking ketchup off the tip of her fingers. "i even used my last avengers paycheck to buy you a ring."

  
  


mina scoffs, and contrary to what she had expected, blushes, her cheeks growing a light shade of red as she avoids staring at her girlfriend. 

  
  


marriage. it's not something they ever talked about, and she supposes it would make sense after the many years they've spent by each other's side, it's nothing but a normal step everyone expects them to take. and it's not like everyone isn't already calling her miss im until she corrects them- mina has always liked it, the thought of sharing her last name, but didn't want nayeon to feel weird about it.

  
  


"weren't you supposed to give all of the money you made from saving the world to charity? you even made a drunken inspiring speech at the united nations about it."

  
  


nayeon scoffs, dropping her burger back in its plate and wiping her mouth with a napkin in case mina ever decides to kiss her- she does think about everything. reaching in the pocket of her white pantsuit jacket, she brings a small box out of it and holds onto it tightly, staring at mina with a raised eyebrow. "say yes and you'll see that ring was worth me being an asshole." 

  
  


her blush is still just as intense, but mina slowly looks up from the floor to stare at her girlfriend, eyes pausing on the dinosaurs band-aid she herself put on her cheek until they land on nayeon's own warm brown orbs. she knows exactly what's happening in her mind right now, because nayeon has never been able to hide anything from her, not even with how hard she's trying to make it for her. she knows that the billionaire bought this ring after long months of wondering about this being the right choice, and not from a sudden impulse to ask for her hand. 

  
  


she knows it because she caught nayeon having ten opened tabs with various jewelry sites four months ago, and she supposes what she had first believed to be an attempt at finding her a valentine's day gift had in fact been nayeon trying, for once in her life, to be romantic. it would be a failed attempt, really, for anyone who might not be mina. but she knows better. 

  
  


"if we get married, i want a small wedding by the beach, not a royal-like celebration with a fanfare. is that understood?" 

  
  


"but the fanfare-" 

  
  


"nayeon." 

  
  


"anything you want, sweetheart." 

  
  


mina laughs, shaking her head in exasperation because nayeon is so easily predictable. some see it as a flaw, but it's one of the many charms she fell for, all those years ago. it's what made her stay, and what makes her fall harder every day. she takes a deep breath, nayeon's face growing white by the second as she waits in fear for an answer. 

  
  


"and will you-"

  
  


"yes, mina, like anything you might ask from me the answer will always be yes! do i have to kneel? i will if that's what it takes, but this pantsuit is white and armani and i really don't-"

  
  


"okay." 

  
  


the box falls down to the floor, startling mina, and nayeon doesn't move, doesn't even breathe as the reality of what just happened weighs down on her. she should have expected her to say yes, of course, because from her limited knowledge of their relationship, mina is pretty in love with her. it's been that way for years and isn't going to change any time soon, no matter how scared she is. because mina is not the only one taken by the unrealistic fear of losing her, she too goes through the same feelings but for very different reasons.

  
  


she knows she's not the easiest to live with, for the sole reason that everyone around her ended up leaving after a while. but not mina. never mina. 

  
  


"okay w-what?" 

  
  


"let's get married. but just know that means i'll have zero tolerance over you getting hurt the second you slip that ring on my finger." 

  
  


"i can't promise to stay safe forever during our vows, because we both know that would be a lie." and nayeon almost looks sad then, the corner of her lips lifted in an emotionless smile. slowly, she leaves her seat and walks closer to mina, until she's close enough to feel her breath hitting her cheek lightly in a soft breeze. "but if that's what makes you happy right now-"

  
  


nayeon is never able to finish her sentence because mina's lips fall over hers in a soft kiss, one strictly meant to shut her up because she knows it's the only way. and it works, nayeon losing herself in the soft embrace, the trembling of her hands finally dying down as a new sort of peacefulness washes over her to calm her racing heart. 

  
  


"that's what makes me happy. so keep doing it." 

  
  


the ring lays forgotten on the floor for the rest of the morning, mina soon finding herself in nayeon's arms as she brings them to the bedroom, counting on honoring her promise. and when she finally slips it around her finger, she cries, and nayeon follows her as soon as the first tear cascades down her cheek, because this is too good to be true, and she's scared, in the most selfless and loving of ways, she's utterly scared of where this might lead them.

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


the last time mina got to properly celebrate her birthday was years ago, when nayeon was still working on her dysfunctional suit with thoughts of saving the world swimming in her mind above her dreams to become someone, someone others would notice and respect.

  
  


today was supposed to bring to an end the sad streak of ruined birthdays she's had to experience. nayeon woke her up with breakfast in bed- the toasts had been overcooked and they both very quickly got distracted by each other, but the attention is one she had loved nonetheless. a promising morning, one that could only lead to an unforgettable day of multiple surprises she was sure nayeon reserved for her. 

  
  


but nothing of the sort happened. 

  
  


nayeon was still placing soft kisses on her thighs when her watch beeped, and had to reluctantly pull away from her soon-to-be wife when the alarm only grew in intensity. she had been too tired to even notice her slipping away from her grasp then, still trying to catch her breath as a now cold coffee rested forgotten on the bedside table. but when nayeon placed a short kiss on her temple and walked to their closet, she understood that nothing about this birthday would be much of a celebration. 

  
  


she should have expected it, really, because it's been that way for years. but thankfully, mina has never stopped hoping for things to change, even as she watches nayeon get dressed in the first pair of jeans she can find and run towards her lab. 

  
  


when she finally leaves their bed minutes later, the suit is missing and a note that reads 'gone to save the world, be back later!' is waiting for her on the fridge, a tiny heart drawn at the end. it's what keeps her from getting mad, but what makes her worry even more.

  
  


the more she realizes how deeply she fell into the rabbit hole that is im nayeon, the scarier it becomes. it's as if nayeon is a form of poison, spreading in her veins faster the deeper she falls, slowly getting to her heart. an inoffensive kind, one that has never truly hurt her yet, but that might someday be the cause of her end. mina supposes she shouldn't see her fiancée as such a terrifying metaphor, but it's the closest thing from the truth she has been able to think of. 

  
  


"guess i won't be seeing her at all today." mina mumbles under her breath, opening the fridge to find it filled with cakes of various colors and types. "at least i know what i'll be doing to pass time."

rolling her eyes from the eccentricity of the nonetheless appreciated gesture, mina grabs the tiramisu and shrugs, planning on busying herself with cakes today. it's her first day off in months, mostly because being the ceo of im enterprises is not an easy job contrary to what nayeon might say- that's only because she gave all of her tasks to mina during the time she held the ceo position. and although she wishes she could have spent this day by her side, she understands why nayeon could not stay when she turns the tv on to see manhattan on fire, chaeyoung swinging from a building to another as nayeon shoots lasers toward a falling robot.

  
  


it's enough to get her to turn the device off immediately. she's had her fair share of having to watch her girlfriend get badly hurt in the past, and it's definitely not an experience she wants to live again.

  
  


but hours later, when the sun hides to allow the moon a dance of her own, and nayeon is still nowhere to be seen, mina has a hard time resisting the urge to reach for the controller. she's gone through enough cakes by now for the sugar to barely affect her anymore, and the last carrot cake she ate did not succeed in keeping her distracted from the dark and dangerous places her mind tries to bring her to. empty plates all over the coffee table, she has to push a few around to put a hand on her phone, and sighs when its screen is still empty of any new message.

  
  


and yet, she resists. even when her eyes land on the diamond adorning her finger, even when she finds herself unable to look away from a picture of a smiling nayeon she herself took three years ago, mina holds onto hope. because it's all she has. 

  
  


until a light flies in front of the glass windows and lands onto the tower. 

  
  


before she can think of preparing herself for the worst, mina is running to the elevator on her way to nayeon's lab, the place she usually lands on after a mission. but when the doors open, she is met with a sight she had definitely not been ready for. 

  
  


"took a bit longer than i thought but…" nayeon pauses to look at the clock above her head and smiles, traces of blood visible on her teeth. "i made it." 

  
  


mina is quiet at first. pensive. her eyes travel from her broken smile to the general state she is in, and her vision suddenly blurs, her breathing labored as hot tears escape anger and pain-filled eyes. she only realizes she's crying when nayeon hands her a single red rose, one she clearly stole from a nearby garden on her way there, thinking it might be enough to get her to stop crying. but it's useless, like any lie nayeon might come up with to assure her that she's fine.

  
  


her hold on the wall is one she needs to be able to stand upright, her hands shaking when she sees the black eye nayeon is sporting, her broken mask mindlessly thrown to the floor behind her. it's not the worst of it, and this she understands when nayeon takes a step closer and winces, gritting her teeth in order to ignore the pain. the rose falls down to the floor, and mina wonders if nayeon will follow. because right now, she looks even more fragile than the red flower, as if her skin is made of glass, but is missing the thorns a rose owns to protect itself. 

  
  


mina thinks of leaving then. 

  
  


because if nayeon's skin is made of glass, her own heart is made of paper, and she just set it on fire. 

  
  


"can you come here for a minute? i can't exactly walk to you right now." and really, it's a miracle that she's even able to stand without anything to support her. mina hesitates then, because she knows she will never be able to leave if she chooses to do as asked. but when nayeon grunts in pain and bends over, hands on her knees, fear is the last thing from her mind.

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


she doesn't sleep on that night, staying awake as she lays against nayeon's chest, her girlfriend sleeping heavily by then. 

  
  


there's something calming, about feeling her chest rising against her cheek, and her heart beating in a soft thud that resonates in her ear. her fingers dance along the skin of her arm, gently caressing fresh bruises that only increase the intensity of the ache spreading in her chest, and she only stops when nayeon moves in her sleep from the tickling sensation. 

  
  


tomorrow will be another day, one during which they will both need to address what happened. mina will cry when she will remember the pitiful state she arrived in, and nayeon will cry too, because no matter what she might imply, she too, thought this was the end. then they will dry each other's tears, and all of this will stay as a distant memory neither of them wants to remember.

  
  


and no matter what might have gone through her head when fear took over the peacefulness of love, mina will stay. 

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


nayeon never sleeps well at night.

  
  


sleep usually comes easier for her in the middle of the day, after any potential threats that could result in haunting her mind have been prevented. it explains why mina is used to finding her laying over thick books and suit prototypes so often, a sight that warms her heart and would almost allow her to forget about the eternal frown that hardens peaceful features when they lay side by side in bed each night. 

  
  


it hasn't exactly escaped her that nayeon has trouble with sleeping. mostly due to the many times she has been awoken by her girlfriend tossing and turning in bed, sometimes even unconsciously mumbling in her sleep as nightmares animate her mind. they've never talked about it, nayeon never mentioned what keeps her awake at night, because it would be putting words over struggles she desperately tries to brush aside.

  
  


at first, she used to see mina dying. 

  
  


it woke her up in loud pants she barely registered from the muffled screams she attempted to keep quiet in her pillow. until mina's arm slipped over her waist, caressing the skin of her stomach until her breathing calmed down, and with it her fears. 

  
  


now, nayeon sees a future in which she does not exist anymore. 

  
  


mina is still there, kneeling by her tomb, blaming herself for her disappearance. she saved the world, and this she knows from the doves flying around the cemetery, as if paying reverence to her memory for the good she's done. even if it destroyed her, in the end. 

  
  


when she wakes up then, she's the one reaching for mina, apologizing in silent prayers against her lips until she herself awakes. 

  
  


she never truly understands why, but she knows what nayeon needs in those moments, and they only fall asleep long minutes later, her lips still attached to her neck and the trembling of her hands slowly dying down. it's enough for her to know that she's not alone in this, that not only do they share happiness, but also pain. 

  
  


mina only sleeps well at night when nayeon does. and ever since they chose the date of their wedding, a time when spring embraces summer and warms the hearts of many in a gentle, calming breeze, nightmares have been chased away by excited smiles and bright hopeful eyes. their nights aren't perfect, but they're peaceful now, a respite from the heavy rain falling from the sky, cumbersome, invisible drops slowly bringing her down. 

  
  


nayeon never sleeps well at night, but when mina's gummy smile illuminates the darkness and brings her away from a drowning tenebrosity until it lulls her back to sleep, she does, effortlessly. 

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


"you never really answered me." 

  
  


mina looks up from her laptop when nayeon barges in her office unannounced, panting certainly from how difficult it has been for her to walk even a few meters ever since her last fight. staring at her in confusion, she takes her glasses off, leaning back into her seat to brace herself for what she knows will be an unexpected discussion. 

  
  


"about what?" 

  
  


"kids." 

  
  


her breath hitches as she watches nayeon take a seat in front of her, clearly tired from the small distance she's had to walk from their bed to her office a few floors down. out of all the things she expected this conversation to be about, this might be the last topic she had believed nayeon to bring up. 

  
  


"what about them?" she knows she's certainly acting dumb right now, and judging from nayeon's eye roll, she wasn't able to hide that well. 

  
  


"do you want one?"

  
  


"nayeon, we don't talk about having children like we do about buying a house." she sighs, mostly trying to avoid the question.

  
  


"you're right, a child costs a lot more than that." nayeon says very seriously, and it's almost enough for mina to think this is all a very bad idea. not that she's never considered it before, always coming to the same conclusion: she might be ready, but nayeon will probably never be.

  
  


"if you don't intend on being serious here then i don't think we should be discussing this. call chaeyoung if you're bored, i'm sure she'd love you to improve the spider suit. she mentioned electrical spider webs yesterday." and with a last irritated look, mina goes back to work, planning on ignoring nayeon until she leaves. 

  
  


and surprisingly, nayeon stays quiet. it truly is a rare occurrence, and it leaves mina even more confused although she doesn't comment on it. until she takes a deep breath and reaches for mina's hand over the desk, holding it softly to catch her attention.

  
  


"i'm scared." 

  
  


and that makes mina pause, the sound of her fingertips working on the keyboards dying down as she slowly looks up from her screen to stare at her girlfriend. she's worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, fiddling with her fingers nervously, and when it gets too much, this heavy and confused stare mina is looking at her with, she sighs, avoiding her worried eyes. 

  
  


"i really want to take that step with you and i think i'm ready for it. but… i know how scared you are, and what if our kid goes through the same every time i have to leave? what if you both lose me?"

  
  


eyes widening almost comically, mina tries to register everything she's just said. this is the first time nayeon has been honest about her feelings in a while- at least, with her- and that's certainly what shocks her. hearing the truth, unfiltered and so utterly real, is far too rare for her not to believe each of her words. 

  
  


"we haven't even agreed on having a child and you're already worried about its future?" mina chuckles, smiling reassuringly at nayeon. "you're definitely ready. and you're definitely not dying anytime soon. not until i decide to poison you for trying to steal the cookies i baked for jeongyeon." 

  
  


"oh. you saw that."

  
  


and mina's pointed glare is enough to make nayeon cower in fear. but she also notes down what she first said and trying to suppress her own smile is impossible then. 

  
  


"have you considered… not taking unnecessary risks?"

  
  


"we both know that's impossible. if i'm not ready to take the bullet, then who will? chaeng? that kid still has so much time ahead of her."

  
  


"well, you're gonna need to figure something out, even if it takes you years to work in that lab of yours and find out how to make an even better suit. it's either that, or you finally understand that everything going well doesn't mean no one but you getting hurt." mina sighs, squeezing her hand before letting it go. "you have a family to come home to just like they do.  _ i am  _ your family. and sometimes, i'm not sure you acknowledge that." 

  
  


"i think we might have communication problems."

  
  


mina scoffs, rolling her eyes when nayeon pouts exaggeratedly. "i think  _ you  _ have communication problems. i'm perfectly fine with telling you what's wrong, meanwhile you put your suit on, fly around the tower, and whine." 

  
  


and nayeon would deny it, at least that's what her ego wishes she would do. but it's true, no matter how much she hates to admit it, she's never been good at telling mina about her feelings. even when she first asked her out, she made a joke out of it, scared of rejection. it's as if the world would end the instant nayeon opens her heart to her surroundings, as if the sky would fall over their head in liquid clouds and drown them, slowly, torturously. as if mina would leave when she finally sees the scars she's been accumulating through time, mind stained by an explosive ink. 

  
  


she needs to work on this. it's not an option anymore, not when she can feel how upset this is making mina. 

  
  


and she will, for mina, she will.

  
  


"i'll see what i can do about running away every time things get serious. but i can't do anything about my whining."

  
  


(nayeon and mina decide that they want children on that night, the euphoria of a shared passion bringing them to voice what can only be seen as evident.

  
  


nayeon doesn't tell mina, but silently, she promises to change.)

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


"mina thinks i'm an idiot." 

  
  


jeongyeon scoffs, bringing her shield in front of her face when a rock flies in her direction. bombs have been placed all over the city, and their team almost succeeded in getting all of them, at least the ones that could endanger the public. but the few that are left just exploded, pieces of a statue flying toward them and being easily tossed aside with the simple move of an arm. the hit forces her to step back, and nayeon's mask closes again, hiding her face in case anything unexpected happens again. 

  
  


"i wonder why that is. i mean, it's not like you tried shooting a laser in your swimming pool to transform it into a sauna no more than three days ago." jeongyeon rolls her shoulder when it starts aching, and she wonders if she didn't pull a muscle during today's fight. 

  
  


"it worked!"

  
  


"you flooded the entire floor and everyone had to evacuate the tower." 

  
  


"but-"

  
  


"nayeon." 

  
  


"that's not what i meant anyway." her voice comes out almost robotically in the suit, and jeongyeon has to concentrate to hear her well through the loud shouts of their teammates. an arrow lodges itself in the pillar right next to nayeon's arm and she glares up at tzuyu, who judging from her amused smirk, is only proud of herself. "she thinks i'm being reckless." 

  
  


"ah, i see." jeongyeon pauses to get her thoughts in order, planting her shield on the floor to hold her best friend's shoulders. "jihyo and i had a similar discussion a while ago. she told me she hated thinking i might someday die because i wasn't being careful enough, and she was right. it's actually crazy that you survived through so many injuries. i think she's worth listening to, at least that's what i did."

  
  


"so when you were being a coward and refusing to rush into fights…?"

  
  


letting go of her shoulders, jeongyeon slaps her arm, hurting herself more than anything from the rigidity of the almost unbreakable armor. "i'm not a coward. but yeah, that was jihyo's doing." 

  
  


nayeon sighs, looking at a picture of a smiling mina being projected in the inside of her mask. it's one she never keeps far from her reach, because of its meaning as much as the warmth it brings to her in the middle of a fight. it was an idea she got when she first made the helmet, the picture one she took when mina wasn't looking, nose in her books as she prepared to pass an exam. 

  
  


their life back then had been messy, between nayeon hopelessly working on what no one believed in but mina- although she herself had doubts about the project- meanwhile she spent the majority of her days studying. things have barely changed today, she supposes. it's still just as messy if not more, and all that grew is mina's book collection. but looking at this picture has always brought her comfort when she unfortunately can not get it from the source, and it still today works amazingly well.

  
  


"so you're telling me that, if the situation arises, i should prioritize my life over yours?"

  
  


silence follows her question, the blast of explosions dying down and signaling the end of a long fight, one going on in her head. 

  
  


"mina needs you to be selfish. and so does the life growing in her." slipping her mask off, jeongyeon stares at nayeon with all of the honesty she's been needing, the look of a friend what had been missing all along to force her to face the blurry reflection of reality in a dark sky. "so yes, nayeon, that's exactly what i'm telling you." 

  
  


(nayeon wonders how she was born with almost all of the flaws a human could have, but not the one needed to stay alive. 

  
  


she will learn, and respect her promise. because she might hate to admit it, but she knows what it's like, to fear for the life of who she loves. when mina got kidnapped last year, she flew around the world in search of a familiar heartbeat, of a star that would guide her toward her soul, a lighthouse to illuminate the darkness spreading in her chest. and when she didn't find her after hours of searching, she destroyed anything that put itself on her way.

  
  


it had felt like her body went up in flames with every second that passed and kept her away from mina. until she found her and her lips had felt like ice-cold water, putting out the fire blinding her vision and threatening to destroy everything it encountered in a single touch. 

  
  


sharing a soul means sharing a pain she refuses to allow mina to ever feel.

  
  


so nayeon will learn, and she will always come back, no matter what, no matter how.)

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


the first time they broke up- or went on a short unnecessary break according to nayeon- was six years ago. 

  
  


it was mina's choice, not that this is surprising to anyone. a badly calculated, impulsive choice she could have very well regretted for the rest of her life if it weren't for nayeon's strong will to honor a promise she had once made. they had been young then, carefree with the secrets of the world left to uncover and explore, and yet, so certain about what they wished their future to be like. nayeon had told her one summer evening, as mina discovered the suit prototypes she'd made for the first time, that she would always fight for her. and if it weren't for those few at first meaningless words, nothing would be as it is today.

  
  


when mina bitterly remembers the time she had spent away from nayeon then, she believes it was for the best. it did teach her a well-needed lesson, something she's not sure would have been possible without her quite literally running away and disappearing from the surface of the earth for a few days. 

  
  


nayeon used to be, to put it simply, a narcissist jerk who put herself above others, no matter the situation. and mina used to think it was different with her, used to think that, for a reason, that part of the then millionaire's personality did not apply to her. and in a way, she had been right. but there's only so much one can take before they start doubting the true feelings of another. and that's exactly what mina had done, years in their relationship, questioning what should have already been evident.

  
  


and she was alright with it at first, really. alright with watching her girlfriend take all of the credit for her hard work, with everyone throwing flowers at her for what she had accomplished. but being an eternal shadow to her fame had only been an aspect of their relationship she accepted for so long, until nayeon had made one last mistake. a small one, really, compared to the times she ignored mina and her feelings.

  
  


nothing but a forgotten thank you at the end of a speech. ingratitude she should have expected, but that brought an end to a long consideration of their future, together, as one.

  
  


and everything had gone downhill the moment she asked a question she already knew the answer to. it was from a selfish need to be reassured, although it meant she might only get a lie for an answer. 

  
  


but nayeon had, for once in her life, been entirely honest with a simple look.

  
  


" _ if you ever had to choose between me and the suit… what would you do, nayeon? _ "

  
  


she had packed her bags later on that same night, still wearing the red silk gala dress she had chosen for nayeon, tears blurring her vision. and nayeon had just stood there, speechless, as what could have very well been the last memory she would ever have of mina happened before her eyes.

  
  


" _ i was going to say i'll be there for anything you might need but… jarvis seems to think you wouldn't appreciate it according to the current state of our relationship. _ " 

  
  


then, mina had laughed through her tears, and before she could walk past nayeon to leave for good, she had hesitantly reached for her suitcase, watching for a sign of regret or anger. but when she found both twirling in her pupils, like a tornado born from years of thunder momentarily brightening a darkening sky, she chose to let go.

  
  


not for good, no, nayeon fought for mina harder than she ever did trying to save the world. because mina was hers, her world, the star she'd been gravitating around for years, waiting for the day they would come as one. but back then, she had known for once in her life to shut up. and mina had walked away, tearing a part of her own soul in the process. 

  
  


being away from her had resulted in a different, unknown sort of craving to surround her, at all times. no matter how hard she fought against it. an unfathomable fight had started between her mind and her heart, and the longer it lasted, the deeper she fell. 

  
  


today, mina knows just how freeing falling is. 

  
  


today, mina knows flying is in reality what it feels like, to fall, when nayeon is waiting for her back down, arms opened and comforting. but it had been different back then, there had been no nayeon anymore, no safe exit, no one to save her from hitting the ground too hard. 

  
  


when mina slept, she dreamed of nayeon, of the warmth she brought to her when she slipped in their bed, the sun having fallen asleep long hours ago. it bothered her, at first, this unwelcomed form of loneliness she lost herself in each night. but when nayeon's hand would naturally settle on her waist, her hold always strong as if she needed to make sure that none of this was a dream she'd never woken from, that mina was here, her heartbeat the most relaxing of lullabies, she would forgive her for being late.

  
  


when she admired the sunset by the window of sana's apartment, hiding under the assassin's wing until she figured out what exactly the screams echoing in her mind were begging her to do, mina saw red and golden shades. and when the night set, each star caught her eyes. she remembered comparing nayeon to an eternal shooting star, the strongest wishes of the desperate coming true every time she flew in the sky, leaving a trail of magic in the eyes of many behind herself. 

  
  


and when she opened the door of the lonely apartment three days later to find a bouquet of pink and rose lilies being shoved in her face, air rushed in her lungs for the first time in days and cleared all of the doubts she ever had. 

  
  


" _i understand you might not want to see me again, but i recently realized i'd never gotten the opportunity to tell you something._ _i couldn't let you go without being honest._ "

  
  


nayeon had told her she loved her for the first time then. it took mina two more years. and yet, neither ever doubted her feelings, not once. 

  
  


nayeon still is an overly eccentric and narcissist jerk today. but not to mina, never to mina. 

  
  


(and today, mina knows why nayeon couldn't answer back then. 

  
  


it has never been about choosing between being iron man and her girlfriend for her. nayeon has always needed both, and will never put either one of those before the other.) 

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


they get married by the beach, an orchestra playing soft music as mina walks toward nayeon, a simple white dress flowing behind her from the light breeze. 

  
  


the orchestra isn't much better than the fanfare, but mina decided to give into nayeon's pleas when she insisted about this being the perfect vision of her own wedding. and considering she got her to wear a suit as a compensation, mina is pretty proud of their arrangement.

  
  


her watch beeps in the middle of the party they have on the beach to celebrate, and as all of their friends rush to leave, nayeon simply turns it off and brings her wife for a walk along the sea, the sky slowly turning to darker shades as the night falls, stars their only light. it doesn't keep her from worrying, from thinking about the lives that might be lost because of her selfishness. but when mina brings their joined hands over the now slightly visible bump of her belly, facing the calm singing ocean, nothing but the magic of the moment they get to share matters. 

  
  


and in mina's mind echoes the promise of nayeon's vows, chasing away the clouds of fear residing in her heart to allow bright stars to shine. 

  
  


" _ i know you're scared, because i'm scared too. which is why i not only promise to love you for better or for worse, i also promise that this, us, will be forever. _ " 

  
  


nayeon takes a deep breath, and mina can feel her trembling. she knows that among the happiness of their wedding, her mind is kept busy by other tormenting thoughts. and because, this time, she believes her, she trusts nayeon to be back.

  
  


"go."

  
  


"what?" she asks, looking up from her belly to her eyes, a reflection of the stars she could drown herself into as mina's blonde hair almost glows in the darkness.

  
  


"go help them. but don't take too long, i'll be waiting for you here." 

  
  


at first, her stare is one of disbelief. until she presses a button on her watch and her suit appears, covering her from her arms until only her face is visible. she brings mina in an expected kiss, one that is as grateful as it is loving, and her smile is still glowing when she takes off, a shooting star disappearing into the dark night sky, but one that will soon be coming back.

  
  


" _ i promise that even if i have to travel from the other side of this universe in order to honor my words, i will find my way to you. alive."  _

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


nayeon is outside when the sky falls down because that's where she belongs. it's what she was meant to do, what no one will ever take from her- saving lives and along with it, her own conscience.

  
  


but when the night falls, draping the city in a darkness that is sometimes interrupted by a building in flames, ashes of a victorious fight flying around, nayeon flies back home. 

  
  


home is the arms of her wife, mina welcoming her with a proud smile of disbelief every time she honors her promise. 

  
  


home is their daughter's bed as she waits for her mother to arrive home and continue that story about that time she kicked aunt jeongyeon's ass and totally won a war against her. (one of nayeon's favorites and, according to her, a lot more realistic than prince charming stories. she wouldn't want to lie to her precious daughter.)

  
  


and, with time, nayeon understood that home, home does not exist after death. so she stays alive. not for herself, because this never was about selfishness.

  
  


"hey, are you coming to bed?" mina's voice is low, eyes dropping from exhaustion. she pauses when she sees nayeon holding tightly onto their daughter's hand, noticing that she must have fallen asleep a long time ago. "or do you perhaps want to stay here for the night?" 

  
  


nayeon shakes her head, throwing one last glance at the still immobile girl before she places a kiss on her forehead. "i'll be here in a second." mina only nods, a warm smile gracing her lips before she decides to leave them together, for a short instant.

  
  


and as nayeon looks at the blue iron man costume her daughter is wearing as pajamas, a recurrent theme in her bedroom, she realizes that this was never about her. 

  
  


it was about them all along. 

  
  


about the ones who make life worth living, and death worth avoiding.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> <3


End file.
